First not Last

I experienced my First time of not being Last for completing my WOD! I know it isn’t a race, but it felt good! I got to cheer on a classmate – I’m usually the one being cheered and encouraged to finish. In that moment – I celebrated! Sometimes victories may seem so small on the outside – but they are huge on the inside.

But that wasn’t my only First! Last night was my First time to run pain free in 3 weeks! So for a few weeks now – this has been my fashion accessory.

Sexy right? It’s Rock Tape. I was introduced to it two weeks ago. And while mildly skeptical – I watched very respectable athletes get taped up a few weekends ago while at Capital City CrossFit – so I figured it couldn’t hurt.

In addition to the tape, Dr. Bill Richie worked his chiropractic magic on my ankle through two different sessions. That with two weeks of the coaches tailoring portions of the WODs for me, have allowed my ankle time to heal and resulted in one happy right ankle. I’m so grateful because 3 weeks from today I’m on a plane bound for Arizona for a Rim to Rim to Rim 46 mile trek of the Grand Canyon.

Other Firsts for me recently include 123# Back Squat and learning that I can lift a dead Romanian assuming he only weighs 103# (why is it called a Romanian Deadlift anyway?) and in a very ungraceful balance pose – learned how to do a Bulgarian Split Squat (seriously who names these things?). Another significant First for me - is Today is the First time I was able to fit back into a pair of pants from last summer! And while I'm still resisting the urge to weigh in on the scale - I am increasingly trusting the process clean(er) eating and CrossFit.

While my ankle was mending – I probably rowed enough meters to cross the English Channel. I’m more than relieved to have my ankle back as a properly functioning part of my body, but I’m also grateful for the experience. I learned to trust others around me that knew how to help me heal while still training for my upcoming trek. I'm sure there are many more Lasts for my WODs, but I'm most excited about how many more Firsts are ahead of me.

Hell is no Place for a Gimpy Ankle

So I mentioned the other day that I was a dufus about not properly stretching before and after a long (for me) run. A week later I’m still paying for it. I’ve been completely gimpy since running the Fatass 5k on Saturday. For those that know my love of hooker shoes – sadly they haven’t been out of my closet in 10 days… But gladly my workouts haven’t suffered. This week I’ve experienced first-hand how the coaches at Capital City CrossFit work with individuals to build workouts that enable success while still accommodating injury or physical capabilities. Brian and Zack have been great about customizing WODs for me, but that doesn’t mean they are easier. In 32 days I’m literally hiking into the bowels of hell (better known as the Grand Canyon). I can’t slack off my training – yet my ankle has to heal. The only thing that is keeping me from hitting the panic button is the realization that I can keep strength training under their direction while my ankle and I get back on speaking terms.

I share this for anyone that thinks they can’t do CrossFit because of an ailment or a particular weakness. Working with the coaches – it is amazing what they can do to get you going.

Realizations this week:

• Leave my pride in the car and hobble my gimpy ankle into the box and talk to the coaches about the injury.
• The Grand Canyon will never hire me to write their marketing brochure if I keep referring to it as the Bowels of Hell. 

Mirror Mirror on the Wall

I’ve been quietly struggling for a few weeks – and then a friend came across Fat Chick does CrossFit blog post – saw similarities to my experience and shared the post with me. From the first sentence I related with her. I was completely entertained by her perspective and experience. But then she struck a nerve – and it is still zinging. In a short statement she completely summed up my frustration and articulated what I’ve been unable to pinpoint. “…living a fit-person lifestyle inside a fat-person body is uncomfortable and sucky. It was much easier to be living a fat-person lifestyle inside a fat-person body, and at least back then there were jellybeans.” Amen my fellow fat chick sister!

So why do I share this? Because this is reality for anyone transforming their lives through fitness. It isn’t a video-edited journey captured in one television season type of effort. It is a daily decision to make better choices, and to do more than you were capable of doing yesterday. But there are the sucky days, the days you are tired of being sore. The days you want to binge eat. The days you want to hide in your car and pretend you went and worked out. But hopefully you don’t. There are dark days on your fitness journey. I want to confess that right here and now. Because I want anyone reading this to feel okay about the day they realize they’ve arrived in their dark place. The trick is to get the hell out of there. But how?

I know I am stronger than ever. I can run further than I’ve ever been able to run. But still… In the mirror every day I see her. The fat chick is still there lurking, haunting and teasing me. So I’m always seeking the lesson to be learned. This morning I had a brief “Come to Jesus” meeting with myself. Nutrition – it is the only aspect of my training that I haven’t dialed in completely. That changes for me this week. On Saturday I’m attending a nutrition workshop at Capital City CrossFit. I know how to eat clean – I did it successfully before during my initial weight loss. I’ve just never balanced disciplined nutrition with disciplined workouts. So while in my dark place this morning, I did what no one should ever do once they start strength training. I pulled out my scale. Maybe I did it so the fat chick could celebrate my fitness failure – if so – then she should be happy because the number was ugly. I know that muscle weighs more than fat, and I know I’m a lot more muscular than I was a few months ago. But that number sent me into a frantic spiral of looking up other numbers – I dug out my measurements. My waist is smaller. My arms are now lopsided - apparently i'm stronger on my right  – but they are more muscular then they used to be. I actually have biceps now. My legs are bigger – but they were always what I’ve now learned were considered a “skinny fat” now they are muscular. I can see my quads and hamstrings. This damn number on the scale had the potential of blowing up my progress. I picked two fights this morning – I believe in a misguided effort to blow off steam. But now that I’ve dusted off the measuring tape – I’m going to track a 30 day progress. Clean foods. Nothing processed. On June 14th – I’ll share my results.

Smack Talkn the Competition

Only the lonely…

I’m an extremely social person and solitude has never really been my thing. I’ve been preparing to run a local 5k with a few coworkers. This week has been an interesting week, because of schedules and project demands we’ve all had to run solo this week – and we’ve struggled during those runs. What I’ve learned about myself is that sometimes your greatest accomplishment isn’t determined by speed, distance, or WOD performance. For me this week it was that solo four mile run. I’m not a natural runner – and likely don’t do it very well compared to real runners. Running is a cardio necessity for me, but I really do enjoy a recreational 5k. So when I set out for a solo four miles, I realized that mentally I wasn’t ready. I also didn’t take the time to stretch enough which was painfully apparent at 3.5 miles. I get energy from people around me, so you take my energy source away, and I’m left with just myself, my thoughts and my pains. But perhaps those are the efforts that should be celebrated more – the tough runs, the WODs you don’t want to do, the squat-challenge you would like to bail on – but you don’t. The accomplishments during solitude when no one is looking, with nobody to cheer you on but yourself – I believe those may be the biggest accomplishments.

The only way out - is through it.

WODs look scary most every day, but sometimes there are WODs that are cloaked in simplicity – masking their ability to kick your booty. Today was that day. WOD shared below – but here were my initial thoughts… Wall Balls – I tend to like. It is a synergistic movement that feels good when all the rights parts are firing the right directions. Kettle Bell Swings – I like the momentum and the raw power that is generated in the movement. Push-ups – not sure we’ll ever be friends. At best we’re mild social acquaintances. So when Coach Brian unveiled the WOD, I thought – this doesn’t look too hard… I really should know by now to NEVER think that – and if I think I’m going to think that – to immediately assess myself a 25 Burpee Penalty for being a dufus.

The most dangerous part of any CrossFit workout for me is when I’m struggling near the end of round 1. The reality is sinking in of how much further I have to go. There is no denying how difficult it is going to be to get there. This is the time I wish had a mute button for my brain. I’m not sure at what point you silence the complainers and whiners that take up an unwelcomed residence in your own head. But today as I am struggling into my second round I remember something Louise Cooper would say while trekking the Grand Canyon last year. I describe Louise in the highest regards as an "elegant badass". She's an accomplished athlete (worth the Google) and thankfully a trail angel to tender paws like me. We were standing somewhere along the canyon floor unable to see where it was we were attempting to climb to when Louise matter-of-factly stated, “The only way out - is through it.” That one simple statement was powerful then, and it still is today. It is Louise's voice - in that gorgeous South African accent - I hear rallying me against the complainers and whiners. Those negative and fearful voices are energy zappers, and I look forward to the day I successfully evict them out of my head.

So how’d I do? At 18:00 I had my last round of push-ups remaining. I’m so glad Coach Brian had me complete them. I’ll take the 19:23 booty kickin, but I bet if I replayed the morning – that 1:23 is probably the exact amount of time I let negative voices run unchecked in my head. Lesson learned: evict negativity during the workout.

WOD 4/29/13
For time: 18:00 cap
800m Run
3 Rounds:
25 Wall Balls (20#/14#)
25 KB Swings (53#/35#)
25 HR Push-ups

But I don’t want to…

I’ve mentioned before that I’m preparing to trek Rim to Rim to Rim of the Grand Canyon. This trip is 46 miles round trip in two days. No helicopters. No Pink Jeeps. No burrows. On this trek you are the burrow… The plan is to hike down the South Rim – cross the canyon floor aka “Bowels of Hell” – climb-up the North Rim. Wake up and do the reverse the next day. I’m not an extreme endurance athlete; I’m just lucky to know a few. They keep the “Tender Paws” like me from dying out there, but the deal is to come to the event prepared, strong and ready to suffer hike.

The logistics of life are tricky for everyone. Carving out time for training is a highly-coordinated effort with my husband. I’m blessed that he is very supportive of my endeavors. So without sharing the excel spreadsheet (yes, there is one) here is a quick rundown of the schedule. The alarm goes off Monday – Friday at 4 am. No, I’m not kidding. An ideal training week includes CrossFit at 5am Mon-Wed. I also juggle a mid-day run that I fit in around calls and meetings during my actual job. Thursdays are happy rest days – which should be renamed “Run-all-the-errands-you-didn’t-run-Mon-Wed Day”. Friday morning is back at CrossFit for the 5am class and hopefully another run. Saturday – I’m fiercely protective of my Saturdays. That day is for playing with my babies and NO SCHEDULE!!! On Sundays we have a standing babysitting appointment, and my husband and I hike. I don’t share all this to brag – I realize it is a lot. I also recognize that my sanity was probably questioned right after I described the GC trek in the opening statement. The point today is WHY I have set this schedule. Ironically the answer is simply because I am lazy. That’s right – in fact, I’m super lazy. I just can’t allow myself to be. I’ve learned the only way to make this lazy girl workout is to bake it into a larger, even epic, effort.

To get the training I need to completely prepare for a successful trek – I need three things – strength, time on feet and cardio. A sauna would be helpful – but I learned my local Y really frowns on camping out in there all day long… I’ll get back to my point. With two little ones at home, the only way to possibly meet my training needs (and not sacrifice family time) is to workout around their schedules. Below are a few questions/commentary I get. “Do you like waking up at 4am?” No. But I can slip out of the house while everyone is sleeping and be back home by 6am in time to wake them up to get ready for school. “Doesn’t running on your lunch make you feel gross for the rest of the day?” Yes. Definitely not bringing my "A Game" in the looks department after a lunch run. But running after work isn’t an option for my family life. I’ve received comments that I spend too much time away from my family, and I disagree. This schedule was coordinated in order to maximize family time yet still accomplish very large goals. Everyone feels the pressure of lack of time. My only real option was to steal it early in the morning.

The plan isn’t perfect. There are downfalls of the plan. One missed workout has a chaotic ripple effect on not just my schedule – but my family’s schedule as well. What I’ve not listed out in the above is how we also factor in my husband’s workouts, t-ball, bus stop, day-to-day life etc. But here’s the beauty of this plan - when that alarms goes off at 4am – “I don’t want to” isn’t an option. For me – it works. I truly doubt I would workout as consistently as I do if my workouts weren’t tied to an overall training plan for a set goal or specific event.

So much of my fitness journey has been realizing things about myself along the way. For me – I have to attach myself to something epic – and just go all in to prepare for it. If the sizzling canyon floor wasn’t waiting for me – that snooze button would be too easy. So if you are struggling with daily motivation, seek out an event that requires planning and preparation. It doesn’t have to be the Canyon. Just aim for something that is bigger than just you. For me the workouts aren’t the end goal – but only a component of a larger goal. That makes them more vital to my overall success and that makes them harder to miss, even on the “I don’t want to” days.