Friday, February 28, 2014

Nuclear Day

On December 30th the job I dearly loved ended with a dreadfully robotic, “We wish you well in your future endeavors.” The following weeks were spent in phases very similar to a failed relationship. I was hurt, angry, fearful, blaming myself while retracing every step/decision along the way.  As a family we were forced to plan out what we dubbed as our "Nuclear Plan". That is the plan for what you will do when your life hits the financial bottom. At the end of that exhausting effort, we realized something. We were so blessed. Our “Nuclear Plan” didn’t completely suck. It wouldn’t have been fun, but on detonation day we would have survived and life would have continued to be stable for our children. That was our main goal. Houses, cars, boats, lifestyle & social amenities – you realize don’t matter. When all the material/lifestyle pressures strip away you can more effectively focus on the core needs. I’ll forewarn you, going through an exercise like that is nothing short of a mental wring out, but it was also empowering for us. Once we knew we had a plan that accounted for the worst “what ifs” we could imagine, all of that negative angst and energy could be refocused towards the positive things like figuring out my next career move.

Once we had freed ourselves from fearing the worst, we could finally begin to hope for the best. Numerous opportunities were very promising and the potential employee/employer courtship was well underway for the top few. It was a process that moved in waves. There was a lot of hurry up and wait. I don’t wait well, so my waiting time was filled with prep work. I’ve supported sales teams throughout my career, so I started approaching my job search as a sales effort. Stuffing the funnel at the top, trickle marketing for opps in the mid-funnel and going for the close for the ones the end of the funnel.
It was a process that succeeded for me, I received two amazing job offers within 4 days of each other. Both were fantastic. Both were answers to prayers. But one stood head and shoulders above. It enabled unimagined blessings for our entire family, not just for my career. It was a game-changer and not one that we had really planned for. The irony wasn’t lost on us that one of the reasons I lost my job was that I didn’t want to relocate my family to Texas last year. Now here was a dream job for a dream company, but once again it would require moving. Luckily, we were able to work out an agreement for a trial run, before make any permanent changes for the family. While this will cause short-term disruption for our family dynamics, I believe the long-terms gains will be worth it. The next chapter for my career starts on March 17th. This entire experience has been overwhelming to see how beautiful blessings really are hidden underneath terrible times.

There is something empowering about mapping out your Nuclear Day plan. It isn’t easy. It forces discussions that are unpleasant, but now that we have one I am unafraid of future endeavors. So much of my complacency was the fear of disrupting our life. I stayed in my last position several years too long, because I didn’t want to disrupt the status quo of our life. I no longer fear Nuclear Day and that is living Harder2Kill :) 

 

Tuesday, February 25, 2014

The Other Woman

I’m a daughter, wife, mom, friend, crossfitter and employee who is balancing the needs of other people while making my fitness and career a priority. I have a pretty defined mindset depending on which role I’m in during a given moment. But what happens when roles start blurring? I’ll tell you, sometimes the Other Woman has to show up. I’ve been fortunate to have had several interviews with amazing companies recently. Juggling it all got a little blurry at times, but that isn’t necessarily a bad thing. So if you know me, you know what Billy Up! means to me. Over the last two months I’ve used that battle cry to tackle challenges, have difficult conversations and do deep soul searching for what is important for my family.

My recent interviews were amazing experiences, and I attribute so much to an army of prayer warriors and cheerleaders in my life. But I think a key difference for me during those interviews was to bring the Other Woman with me. Let me tell you about her, because you likely have one too. The Other Woman exist in all women. She’s the person that kicks in and handles 80 things simultaneously. She’s the one that takes over during emergencies. She’s the one that that kicks ass when called upon. She's the one you want to have in your corner during a fight. She's the Mama Bear that ferociously defends her cubs. She’s the one that upon never having hiked, signed up for a Rim to Rim (and back again) trek of the Grand Canyon. She’s the one that most days has to take over upon reading the WOD board at C3. And, she’s the one I took with me to each interview. They were set up as mental endurance days as a series of individual and panel-type interviews that lasted for hours. I’ll admit, the Other Woman was very useful. Most everyone lives and operates within different silos of their life. I don’t think I’m unique in that. I hope everyone has that Other Woman they can call upon when life requires you to Billy Up!

 
Oh how did the interviews go? Extremely well! We’ll have big news to announce in the near future. Until then the Other Woman is taking a much needed break for a few days.  

Friday, February 21, 2014

Drowning, Floating and Swimming

Little factoid about me. I was a lifeguard from age 15 to 22. Yep, I rocked the red bathing suit before Pamela Anderson (although it didn't seem near as sexy when I was in it!) It is funny how lessons learned during then show up 20+ years later.

Lifeguard Lessons for Life:
1. When struggling to gain control, take a breath and swim underneath your opponent to gain a more advantageous position. (Re-position and re-plan your attack.)
2. When pulling someone out that is bigger than you, push down on them first before pulling them up. (Leverage the buoyancy of a burden.)
3. When swimming a heavy object to the surface, save your breath on the way down and push off the bottom when coming back up. (Save your energy for the real fight. Those last few feet before you break the surface are the hardest.)
4. People that can float won't drown. This one sounds so obvious, but swim lessons rarely include floating. (If you can relax in a panic situation, sometimes floating for a bit will save you.)
5. Swimming through the trough of a wave is way easier than swimming over it. (Life will throw a series of waves and instinct tells us to swim over them. In the trough that wave is insurmountable. Swimming through it is easier, faster, saves your energy and gives you time to catch your breath before the next one. Swim through it.)

So there you have it. A few tips that have saved me while swimming through the last few months. Some days I'm struggling to break the surface. Some days the waves are crashing down on us. Some days I have to force myself to just float.

"You don't drown by falling in the water; you drown by staying there." ~ Edwin Louis Cole

Friday, February 14, 2014

You look so different with clothes on

Networking is apparently a more socially appropriate term for what I call Pimping. In my new normal – I’ve found in-person networking to be a highlight of my activities. I spend a lot of time on the phone, too much time on my computer and waaaaayyyyy too much time alone. I am blessed to have a few girlfriends that are Queens of Networking, and they have been vigilant in their efforts to make me occasionally swap the yoga pants for dress pants and mingle my little heart out. This week I had the chance to attend a luncheon for Women In Communications. Imagine that – a group right here in Springfield specifically for WOMEN IN COMMUNICATIONS! Who knew?

I stroll in to a room expecting unfamiliar faces – and immediately find a familiar smiling face. My girl Morgan from C3. Here’s the odd thing about seeing fellow C3er’s outside of the box. It causes you to say things like, “You look so different with clothes on!” Which admittedly isn’t the typical ladies luncheon appropriate greeting. I’ve already confessed that I speak and think simultaneously, but perhaps I shouldn’t have proclaimed that across the table. (I fear our luncheon peers might have needed a little more context behind that statement.) But it’s true – at least for me. C3 – isn’t a glamor gym. People there are focused solely on completing (surviving) their WOD. There are no Athleta models striking flexed poses in the mirrors. In fact – in true CrossFit form – there are no mirrors in the place. The people there are grimy, sweaty and sometimes bloody. Emotions are raw; efforts are passionate and let’s just agree that most of us do not need to see the faces we make during pull-ups, snatches and wall balls. Inside C3 I’m usually sweating, swearing, panting, grunting and sporting grungy workout clothes. So to go from gym rat to business dress is a real shock to the senses, but it was so great to see a friendly smiling face to welcome me in to a room of strangers.

Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Unemployment is a lot of work

January flew by. I’m stunned with how quickly each day slips by. I promise to never cast a judgmental eye towards any of my SAHM girlfriends when they complain about not having any time. On top of pimping (job hunting), I have found that my days are filled with the job of being jobless.

Anyone that has never filed for unemployment – let me tell you – it will take 6-8 weeks before you hear anything. Don’t try to call in. 4.5 minutes of on hold recordings will end with the phone system hanging up on you. Forms that are dated the 15th – arrive to you on the 21st and you are expected to have returned before the 23rd. But not to worry – there is a fax line provided to expedite the service. The problem is that it always rings busy – even at midnight. Yes – I tried. Forget your password? Want to call the help line listed on the website? It rings busy too. Want to go handle things in person? Simply go directly to your local unemployment office as directed in your letter. Please note there are no posted hours on the door. You will need to stand in subfreezing temps starting at 7:45 for doors that apparently can only open at 8:31. Take your best coat/gloves. Think you succeeded b/c at least you are first in line? No worries – the charming person at Desk 1 will turn you away  proclaiming that you are to wait on a letter of determination via mail. Need to certify for unemployment even though you aren’t receiving payments? Schedule 20 minutes so that you can repeatedly hit the 2 key to answer 1200 questions that do not apply to you. Calling from a cell phone? Make sure you have strong signal – or your claim process will be screwed up if the call drops. Eligible for COBRA coverage? It is fantastic until the company that was supposed to deduct $200 from your primary checking account takes out $1600 instead. Please note: dealing with a company to get your own money back into your account will take 5 phone calls averaging 37 minutes each, 10 days, 4 letters, 3 different customer service reps, 2 supervisors and 1 overnight package. In addition to clawing for your own money to be returned to you, while awaiting the magic determination of eligibility of unemployment (also money that already belongs to you), you get to work closely with your bank to handle the financial fallout for the temporarily missing $1600. If you are born under a lucky star as I seem to have been, this mishap will be perfectly timed to occur immediately after you have made all of your monthly payments including mortgage. All I can say for the roller coaster of unemployment is, who has time to look for a job? Being unemployed is a job!

Update: money returned, bank was amazingly helpful and IDES finally agreed on Feb 12 that I was indeed eligible for my own money (claim initially filed on Jan 5).

Word to the wise - we’ve all been told to “save for a rainy day”. Trust me - when you are unemployed – it will be monsoon season.  We need to be Harder2Kill financially too.

Saturday, February 8, 2014

40 Candles

I turned 40 today. I have no issue with that. I’ve accomplished my goal of being more fit at 40 than I was at 30. I wasted too much of the last decade being unhappy with myself. I intend for my 40s to be nothing short of Fabulous! Except I didn’t ring in Decade #4 with all the fanfare, bells and whistles that I would have normally. In fact I turned out to be a very dull birthday girl. Like I said, I have no issues with turning 40 – in a way I think it’s cool. 40 certainly doesn’t sound or seem as old as it used to. I can list some awesome badasses proudly in their 50s so whining about 40 seems silly.

I think my dullness had a lot to do with extenuating circumstances out of my control. A temporary financial snafu blindsided us this week, and a few job leads seem to be growing cold. I just wasn’t really in the celebratory mood I thought I’d be in. Adding to my dullness I swore off drinking until I’m re-employed (like that word? just made it up.), and I spent January detoxing my body of processed sugars, dairy and grains. I was unwilling to mess up that progress - even for a milestone b'day. I ended up buying a birthday cake for myself that I didn’t eat – so that my children could sing Happy Birthday to me. They were so sweet – and were upset that I didn’t have a cake.

My entry into the BIG 4-0 wasn’t all bad. So many friends and family reached out to me that day. Some even acknowledged all “8 Days of Pam”. It’s a real thing. My dearest friends know all too well what that is. My point is – even without birthday cake, or a proper party and even with all the extra junk going on – I know I’m a lucky girl. American Cancer Society “celebrates birthdays”, and I’m aware that so many won’t have theirs. I have my health. I have my family’s health. All the other noise going on will eventually fade away and cease to matter. So Cheers to a Healthy and Fit 4th Decade!

 Ps – want the upside of my dullness? (-15 lbs J) Happy Birthday to me!

Monday, February 3, 2014

Homebody


For a few weeks now I’ve been unable to get to C3. So I’ve been able to really test myself and my commitment to working out from home. With Snow days, flu, some unnamed bug, pimping, more snow days, another unnamed bug and a few exasperating efforts to receive unemployment benefits, my days fly by. I’m proud to say that most days I still accomplish an hour of cardio (luving some of my husband’s p90x cardio programs). Yoga a few times a week. I still suck at it (sorry Mom). Also – I’m blessed that we do have a fully functional home gym – one that I’m embarrassed to admit  I rarely used until recently. I look at the WOD online each day – and then figure out ways to replicate the WOD at home. Some days I’m more successful than others. There are many moves that I really need adult (coach) supervision for. So I’ve learned if I can’t comfortably replicate it – I default to burpees – which we all know completely suck (sorry Mom). One aspect of the CrossFit community is that it really is a community. With online forums and facebook groups I still feel connected – even though its been a few weeks since I’ve been in. B/n the at home WODs, cardio and dialing in the nutrition (detoxed in January from processed sugars, grains and diary) – I’m really seeing - and more importantly feeling - a difference.